Recently, I stepped away from my practice to focus on our wedding and honeymoon. Being self-employed, taking that time away was a significant decision. But I knew I wanted to give this chapter my full attention.
And somewhere between the planning, the celebrations and the quieter moments afterwards, I found myself reflecting on relationships. Our own, the relationships that surround us, and those I have the privilege of exploring with my clients.
What actually matters to us?
During the wedding planning, my husband and I kept coming back to this question.
There were so many decisions to make, and so many ideas about what a wedding should look like. Some expectations came from people around us. Others were harder to place. Were they from movies? Our families? Our culture? Something we had seen on social media?
At one point, I wondered: if we couldn’t take or post a single photograph, would we still give the same things so much of our attention?
I love beautiful details, and I treasure our photographs. But that question helped me pause and notice where our energy was going.
We were making a commitment to each other, surrounded by our closest people. Remembering that helped us return to what we wanted the day to mean.
I think something similar happens in relationships. We carry ideas about how love should look, how our partner should know what we need, or how disagreements should unfold. Sometimes we only discover those expectations when they aren’t met.
There is value in getting curious about them: Where did I learn this? Have we ever spoken about it? What matters to each of us?
The marriage beyond the wedding
Alongside the excitement about the day, I found myself thinking about the life that would follow it.
How do we want to listen to each other? What happens when we feel misunderstood? How do we find our way back after a difficult moment?
I also thought about how the ways we love, disagree and repair reach beyond us. They shape the atmosphere of our home and, if we are fortunate enough to have children one day, what those children will come to understand about connection.
That feels meaningful to me. It gives me a reason to keep paying attention, to keep learning, and to take responsibility for how I show up.
I’m still learning, too
I am deeply grateful for Imago and what it has brought into my personal life and professional work. I’m also grateful for my husband’s willingness to explore this with me—to keep learning about himself, about me, and about what happens between us.
Working as a counsellor doesn’t exempt me from the questions and challenges of relationships. Knowing about communication doesn’t mean I always find the words. Understanding the importance of listening doesn’t mean it is effortless when feelings are strong.
There is still so much for me to learn.
One of the things I value about the Imago way is the invitation to become curious about the person in front of us. To slow down enough to hear their experience, including the parts that are different from our own.
That is something I continue to practise in my own life, too.
The people who walk with us
Our wedding also reminded me of the value of our village.
These are the people who stood beside us on the day and who will continue to be part of our lives. The people who celebrate with us, show up when things are hard, and offer care in ordinary, often quiet ways.
I felt deeply grateful for that support. Even as we make a commitment to each other, there is room to be supported by others.
Walking alongside you
As I return to my practice, I’m looking forward to continuing this work with couples.
Perhaps you keep having a conversation that leaves you both feeling misunderstood. Perhaps you miss feeling close. Or perhaps you want to make intentional space for your relationship and understand each other more deeply.
I bring professional knowledge, genuine curiosity and care to those conversations. I also bring respect for the fact that your relationship has its own history, meaning and questions.
My hope is to offer a space where we can slow things down together. Where each of you has room to be heard, where we can become curious about familiar patterns, and where you can explore what connection means to you.
You don’t need to arrive with everything neatly explained. We can begin with where you are.
If you would like to explore working together, you’re welcome to contact me on WhatsApp to enquire about an appointment. I would be glad to walk alongside you.